


Ran

by glassgoblin



Series: Carol's Word-A-Day Calendar [131]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-19 15:33:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4751603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glassgoblin/pseuds/glassgoblin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carol wants to run.  Could be Caryl if you choose to read it that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ran

When they were out beyond the walls of Alexandria she ran. She ran until she was out of breath and then continued running. She tripped over branches and rocks that were embedded in the earth, got up and continued running. She wanted to live, and so she had to run, but most of all, she ran from herself. It was so easy to run from everything around herself, and to hide in the assumptions that others made about her. Far easier than being honest about her feelings.

It was better if they thought that she didn’t care, when she really cared too much. That was why she wanted to leave. Over and over again they lost the people they loved. They lost family and friends, and her. It was inevitable, she would lose more of them and be helpless to stop it. Carol closed her eyes and leaned against the porch. Her mental exercise was wearing her out and she needed to catch her breath for a moment.

She told Daryl that she couldn’t stay and watch him die. He thought that it meant she was giving up too soon. She knew that if she didn’t die first that it was just inevitable that she would see him die. She couldn’t bear it. Just the thought of it made her chest ache and her heart clench. It brought tears to her eyes when she had sworn that she would never let anyone see her cry again. She couldn’t be weak. She couldn’t let them know that she could still be soft. Not when she needed to be like steel; cold and unyielding.

“You’ve been quiet tonight.”

Carol turned and gave Daryl a look of incredulity. “Seriously? You are the prince of silence and you comment on how quiet I am?” She snorted and turned back to face the street, letting him decide if he wanted to stay or go back inside.

“Well, I’m always quiet, but you usually say something to someone.” He paused, stepping up next to her close enough that she could feel the brush of his jacket. “Unless you’re planning something. You planning something I should know about?”

“I don’t know that I’d tell you if I were planning something.” She shrugged and glanced at him for a moment. “You’d either be involved or it would be something I didn’t want you to know about.”

Daryl squinted at her, not sure if she were being serious. She looked as though she had been thinking about something intense, and now she was trying to distract him by being confusing. “Hopefully it would be that first one.”

She nodded, not looking at him again. A muscle in her jaw twitched, and that worried him a little. “You ain’t running again, are you?”

“Not yet.” Carol turned away from the porch railing suddenly, taking two steps away from him. “Why? Would you care if I did? I heard about what you said to Aaron, when you were trapped in that car. He told Eric about what happened.” She took a deep breath, “It was honorable to think of saving someone else, but do you have so little here that you would be willing to leave it all behind?”

He had to collect his thoughts for a moment, not liking that she had heard anything about what had happened before Morgan had found them. “You know Aaron loves Eric, and he made the same offer.”

“I know, and I also know what Eric’s reaction to that was. Should I feel any less?” Her face was blank, but her voice held an edge of pain that he hadn’t heard since they were on the road to Grady. “We need you, Daryl. We wouldn’t be the same without you.”

He moved closer, taking her by the shoulders and looking down at her, “Are you sure that it’s ‘we’ or is it just you?”

She finally looked up at him, “Would it matter?”

There was only one answer to that, and he spoke without having to think, “Yes.”


End file.
